Dating in College: Effects of Social Media Pt. 2

And we are back with another one! Today's subtopic regarding this topic is...using other people's relationships as a reference to your own.

Recently, the rappers Monaleo and Stunna 4 Vegas got married. Their wedding photos are absolutely beautiful!! I cannot stress that enough. But that's not the point. 

I've begun to see people post their photos and say things like, "If he not like this ion want it." or, "I need us to be like this." While that's normal on the surface level, it gets strange on the deeper level. Let me dive deeper into this. 

What I mean is that people will see things such as Monaleo's wedding and compare that to their current relationship (like people used to do with those YouTube couples in the past). Not so much the photos themselves but the vibes they give off. Any cutesy aspect they learn about said relationship- they will apply that to theirs or even their future relationship. Sure, it's fine to look at what others have and use that as a backbone to your standards, but...it gets to a point. 

Doing this is dangerous because you are setting unnecessary expectations on yourself and your partner. Just go with the flow. 9 times out of 10, your relationship is not gonna look like your favorite TikToker's or artist's, and that is completely okay. Again, go with the flow. Create your own type of beautiful connection that people will envy.

A personal connection I have to this is comparing what I could have with contestants from Love Island- like Nic and Olandria or Serena and Kordell. I have to remind myself that 1, I do not know these people, so why am I comparing myself to them? 2, pictures do not show what is going on behind the scenes. No, I'm not insinuating anything bad, but I can't just run with what I see and drive myself crazy over it. One day, I will find love that is equally as beautiful. I have no reason to compare myself or my future relationship to someone's relationship on social media.

My point is, stop being weird. Just admire, but never compare. 

9.24 Thoughts

 Good morning, my jerkoffs, or whoever reads this...,

After my manic episode two weeks ago, I've been doing a lot better. That shit was so scary. Genuinely. One thing I've gathered is that it's essential to have people you trust in your circle. I wouldn't be here without them (thank you, T). 

Last Friday, I decided to attend a rock show with a girl I barely knew. That was the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. Despite the 1000 cigs I probably smoked that night trying to be cool, I met an amazing group of people and even got to see my friend perform!!

As someone who struggles greatly with anxiety, this was a huge step for me. I would have NEVER thought to go out with a bunch of strangers. I told myself that day- 'trust your intuition and just vibe out. Your friends have your location. The girl you're with has a knife. You know a guy performing. It'll be okay.' 

I also got the chance to wear something that I would have dreamed of wearing. I finally feel more comfortable being my true, authentic, alternative self. I got so many compliments too- like I know I'm sexy but it was very validating to hear and experience. 

Besides that...I've noticed that people have been FLOCKING towards me lately! Is it because of how hot and cool I am? 

To be continued...

Dating in College: Effects of Social Media

Everyone says that dating is trial and error. Especially in college. 

And they are exactly right. Nothing is sunshine and rainbows in this world. We are all at a stage of life where we want to try new things, people, experiences, sex positions, you name it. 

But no one talks about the hard stuff. Like how Gen Z pushes these boneless (and useless) terminologies to describe stages of dating. Phrases like "talking stage", "situationship", and "sneaky link" are what I'm referring to. Everyone is trying to keep up with social media and the next new thing but has the nerve to complain about the shit dating scene and I'm like...you did that to yourself. 

I agree though. It's bad. I feel like teens and young adults are adamant on searching for a temporary high that which ultimately ruins connections. Then, once they step out into the real world with that same mentality, nothing works out for them.

But I digress, I haven't even graduated college yet, so I don't have the right to really speak on that kind of thing. Back to the "boneless" phrases and the "temporary highs" though.

I feel as if people came up with those phrases because they are afraid of commitment. That seems to be an ongoing theme in my age group. Someone could argue that those phrases have been around for ages- and while I'm sure they have, my point still stands. 

The "hard" part I was talking about is that people are so caught up in the fun aspects of these situations that they begin to lose themselves and get stuck. I hope this makes sense. For example, I myself got stuck in an 8-month situationship because I enjoyed having someone around, having sex, and was caught up in the thought that a potential relationship was underway. That fucked me up so bad mentally. Another example is those year(s) long situationships people find themselves into because they believe something more will come out of it. The other person just sucks at communicating and wants to keep you around for fun. 

Then that takes me to my next point- communication. Oh. My. God. 

The shit I have gone through because the other person doesn't communicate well has been insane. But, let's not be hypocrytical. I was once like that. Now I try to push myself to be upfront about my feelings no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may get. Everyone should be like that right? In college? 20+? Yeah, no. Even so, I notice that it's not like people CAN'T communicate, it's because they don't want to- at the expense of the other person's emotions and potentially the relationship. People have coined even more boneless phrases like "protecting my peace" or some shit like that. I understand it, but telling me you "don't owe me shit" while not giving me the space to talk about my feelings, then blocking me is NOT protecting peace. You are running away from the situation and only making it worse for you and the other person. It's upsetting, truly. Or no, blocking mid-conversation is also NOT protecting (anyone's) peace and is a sign of emotional immaturity. Grow the fuck up and learn how to talk people! If it's getting redundant and they keep spewing bullshit, then block. Otherwise, listen and talk. 

Last thing I want to touch on today is using therapy jargon. It just came to mind because I said "emotional immaturity". 

Yet again, social media gives people new words to use despite knowing the actual meaning of said words... Then, when it's time to have those tough conversations, you're pulling words a therapist or medical professional would use out your ass to make yourself sound smart and more "emotionally mature" when...you sound like a loser. It's embarrassing! It took me so long to realize that the shit someone kept calling me in the past made no sense- they just wanted to sound above me and to belittle me for my mistakes. First of all, that's so fucked up and childish LMAO! But that's the past. I encouarge everyone to do their research. It took me a while to figure out the true meaning of "narcissist" and the effects it may have on a person. Story for another day. 

I will be continuing this as I have a lotttt more shit to say but I'm a smidge tired. 

To be continued. 

Try Again Next Week: Update

Good afternoon my jerkoffs.

Last week, I struggled with getting to class on time, but this week I have done SIGNIFICANTLY better! Except for this morning. Eh...

On top of that, I already missed an assignment, and I'm not sure if that particular prof takes late work but I guess we'll find out and see lol. I poured my heart out on that thing.

On a cool note though, I got a new tat!! It's 777. Funny because I can be quite unlucky at times but that will change simply because I said so. Whatever I say goes.

I'm actually in class rn, learning about parts of a computer software but I'm too tired to lock in. Hence why I'm typing- to keep myself up. 

Anywho, I'm actually very upset. On Monday, a guy I fancy fucking embarrassed the shit out of me. Not elaborating. Cool off that. Now, today I'm upset because you don't know how bad I want to be a model. Someone's muse. A beautiful or cool ass pic to get my name out there. But here's the thing. I'm short! And def not as skinny as I was freshman year. Mind you, yeah I wanna walk the runway and be on the cover of Vogue (preferably GQ) but right now I'm just trying to work with local photographers on campus (or even at my old campus). 

OK, then OJ, why are you sad? Because no one fucking reaches out to me. LMAOOOOOO

Like, for example, another guy I fancy told me we'll be working with each other soon. 10+ shoots have happened since then. Why lie? Then I'm sitting here, looking at the models in his pics and others and I'm like damn...I'M THAT CHOPPED??? Like hooooollyyy shit dude. What's wrong with me? Am I not enough? I'm so over it. It's been bothering me for the past 2 weeks and I assume that it'll just keep happening. Uncforch. 

Maybe I'll get over it. Or maybe I'll get my big break. To be continued...

P.S., I'll expand on this topic more in another post. Is this how you use "PS"? idk.