Hey guys, OJ is back.
To be honest, the whole "onlinejerk" thing started as a shtick. Actually, I'm lying. I thought it was a cool username when I first made it back in 2021. Then it became a joke. Like "thouartorpheus". God, I miss that username.
Did you know I used to be a meme account? Yeah? No? Okay.
But, getting back on topic, I've always wanted to be some niche-micro-influencer, and in a way, I am just that (not really). This is kind of what I'm known for now: my online username. But of course, I want to do more. I actually have a lot of aspirations and goals in life. Hobbies and interests that I want to take to the next level. Normal, sure, but my issue is that I'm trying to do everything at once. A friend of mine told me that I need to relax and do things one at a time. Maybe he's right (surprisingly, because he's very...I won't go there.), I can't sit here and be a comedian, an artist, a producer, and a model all at the same time. Then again...why not? I'm still young after all! Fuck that.
Though here's where my question lies: Am I a joke? Have I permanently made myself into a joke?
I ask this because, for example, today, I posted some pictures of myself in my Halloween costume (which I thought looked cool and sexy, but whatever), and my friends consistently joked on me. Yes, I've already ranted about this on my close friends story; you should know how I operate by now. Yeah, I found it funny. But at the same time, I'm irritated. Not just because of my insecurities, but the fact that no one takes me seriously when I try to be. The more I think about it, the more upset I get.
I'm not sure how to change, or if I want to change. I can't let little non-problems such as this affect how I view myself and my future, but I do have the right to be frustrated. Oh well.
Enough crying, more posts otw! OJ out, gotta study. xx
I'm soooo y2k 2010s scene british core typing out "xx" like bitch what..
