Everyone says that dating is trial and error. Especially in college.
And they are exactly right. Nothing is sunshine and rainbows in this world. We are all at a stage of life where we want to try new things, people, experiences, sex positions, you name it.
But no one talks about the hard stuff. Like how Gen Z pushes these boneless (and useless) terminologies to describe stages of dating. Phrases like "talking stage", "situationship", and "sneaky link" are what I'm referring to. Everyone is trying to keep up with social media and the next new thing but has the nerve to complain about the shit dating scene and I'm like...you did that to yourself.
I agree though. It's bad. I feel like teens and young adults are adamant on searching for a temporary high that which ultimately ruins connections. Then, once they step out into the real world with that same mentality, nothing works out for them.
But I digress, I haven't even graduated college yet, so I don't have the right to really speak on that kind of thing. Back to the "boneless" phrases and the "temporary highs" though.
I feel as if people came up with those phrases because they are afraid of commitment. That seems to be an ongoing theme in my age group. Someone could argue that those phrases have been around for ages- and while I'm sure they have, my point still stands.
The "hard" part I was talking about is that people are so caught up in the fun aspects of these situations that they begin to lose themselves and get stuck. I hope this makes sense. For example, I myself got stuck in an 8-month situationship because I enjoyed having someone around, having sex, and was caught up in the thought that a potential relationship was underway. That fucked me up so bad mentally. Another example is those year(s) long situationships people find themselves into because they believe something more will come out of it. The other person just sucks at communicating and wants to keep you around for fun.
Then that takes me to my next point- communication. Oh. My. God.
The shit I have gone through because the other person doesn't communicate well has been insane. But, let's not be hypocrytical. I was once like that. Now I try to push myself to be upfront about my feelings no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may get. Everyone should be like that right? In college? 20+? Yeah, no. Even so, I notice that it's not like people CAN'T communicate, it's because they don't want to- at the expense of the other person's emotions and potentially the relationship. People have coined even more boneless phrases like "protecting my peace" or some shit like that. I understand it, but telling me you "don't owe me shit" while not giving me the space to talk about my feelings, then blocking me is NOT protecting peace. You are running away from the situation and only making it worse for you and the other person. It's upsetting, truly. Or no, blocking mid-conversation is also NOT protecting (anyone's) peace and is a sign of emotional immaturity. Grow the fuck up and learn how to talk people! If it's getting redundant and they keep spewing bullshit, then block. Otherwise, listen and talk.
Last thing I want to touch on today is using therapy jargon. It just came to mind because I said "emotional immaturity".
Yet again, social media gives people new words to use despite knowing the actual meaning of said words... Then, when it's time to have those tough conversations, you're pulling words a therapist or medical professional would use out your ass to make yourself sound smart and more "emotionally mature" when...you sound like a loser. It's embarrassing! It took me so long to realize that the shit someone kept calling me in the past made no sense- they just wanted to sound above me and to belittle me for my mistakes. First of all, that's so fucked up and childish LMAO! But that's the past. I encouarge everyone to do their research. It took me a while to figure out the true meaning of "narcissist" and the effects it may have on a person. Story for another day.
I will be continuing this as I have a lotttt more shit to say but I'm a smidge tired.
To be continued.
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